I'm not a hard core gamer. Today I'm just a has-been, amazed and horrified by the amount of time some people (i.e. you guys) devote to staring at the game screen. But... I used to be a heavy enthusiast, spending hours after school every weekday... whole weekends whiled away at Golfland, Nickel City, and even Tilt... playing Street Fighter Anyversion until the doors were closed. Those who know me best know this: I am a fighting game freak, and when Capcom enters the arena there is simply no contest. But even before SFII changed the world, Capcom was putting out fun games with cool characters. So what I'm saying is I've got the Capcom list on lock, and the rest of you can choose your chocobos, stupid green alien light guns, farm hands, and duck characters that resemble your ugly friends.
(1) Mega Man - I only had and played Mega Man 2, but that game is awesome, with unforgettable music. Mega Man blows you up, takes your weapon, and uses it on your friends. Served.
(2) Bionic Commando - Slow-moving bullet coming straight at you? Jump, you idiot! Aw shiet, this fool has NO hops. But this ain't retarded no hops like Mr. Big from Art of Fighting. Instead, he shoots out a Doc Ock arm and it pulls him along. This took a little getting used to, but that's what innovation is about. After a few tries, you're swinging like Tarzan, blasting Nazis like no other. The best was when you'd bounce on a guy's head and he'd be frozen and you could turn around and shoot him. The worst was when you'd bounce on a guy's head and it'd send you straight into a hole with nothing but a wall to futilely try to claw-grab three times before you fall and die.
(3) Guy - Before the one-on-one fighting games... there was Final Fight. And the coolest character was Guy. He had a ninja style outfit and a weird name. It sucks how doing his flying spin kick took off life, but when the hookers are on you, you do what you gotta do. Remember the ending? Cody saves Jessica, so she's grateful. Guy doesn't care for the unfair rationing of tats, so he gives Cody a final beating and flips away. FRIENDS! Okay so he doesn’t get the ladies like the white man (who ends up in jail, apparently, from SFA3), but he's still badass. And his return in Street Fighter Alpha was awesome. Korezo... bushinryu! Eeyooooo! Word.
(4) Hiryu - Strider. Dope looking. Red face cloth thing. Cypher slash. Triangle jump. If only the NES version looked more like the arcade version. Speaking of the arcade game, that upside-down stage was too easy, why even put that in there? Let's climb down the wall and see if it goes anywhere AW DEAD.
(5) Blue guy & Red guy - Forgotten Worlds… this was a great game, one of the few I had for Genesis. It’s like floating Contra with satellite weapons, coins to hog, and of course pretty lady selling you items. Probably the main reason I’d be looking into emulators.
(6) Dhalsim - Obviously I love the whole SFII cast, but let’s look at the original and intriguing Dhalsim for fun. Perhaps not the deadliest force or easiest to combo with, but for interesting characters to talk about and laugh at... Dhalsim! How racist is Japan? Most of the characters were humans with cool powers... fireballs, flying/spinning moves... I guess India's just got FREAKS. Clearly on the hungry side, with stretchy limbs that go across the screen? He wears a skull necklace of course, and his only friends rooting him on are frickin elephants tooting in the back of his living room. Do you remember how ridiculous the Yoga Mummy looked? Oh geez and Yoga Nugie... YOGA! YOGA! YOGA! He actually has to yell out "yoga" every time he punches your head, because apparently HE'S THAT INTO YOGA. Well he's from India what do you expect they're all like that.
(7) Akuma - Oh man... take Ryu and Ken's best moves, add air fireballs and warping, and you've got yourself one of the toughest opponents possible. Then on top of that, later add a Guy-style flip'n'throw, a super air fireball, and of course the 15-hit "shungokusatsu" slide-in-and-beat-shiet-out-of-you-with-flash-of-light super combo. He had so many moves and combos to use, domination was never a question.
(8) Dan - Heheh. Still puts a smile on my face. For those that don't know the story, Capcom was not blind to the fact that numerous companies were trying to make a profit off of their success with Street Fighter II by putting out absolutely shitty imitations. SNK was far from the worst, but they did some serious biting with Art of Fighting. Ryo and Robert, two friends, one Japanese one white, trained in the same style of karate, have fireballs and rising uppercut punches. Hmm. So a Capcom artist drew a picture of Sagat holding the head of a beaten body with a combination of Ryo's orange gi with black undershirt, and Robert's pony tail. In Street Fighter Alpha, he was introduced as a secret character named Dan. He has lame watered-down moves based on Ken and Ryu (“gadoken”, “koryuken”, “dankukyaku”), wears pink or lime green, and his super move is the flurry attack, bitten back from Art of Fighting. Nice counter, Capcom. Speaking of counters, Dan had the lame all-red counter in Puzzle Fighter. So he's the joke character that always rolls around, gets beaten up and made fun of, and cries for his dad. Gotta love it. Hyahoooo! Oyajiiii!
(9) Shoma - Ah, Rival Schools. I love this game. The characters, the moves, team-ups... all put together perfectly. Shoma's the little baseball player with the humongous bat. I never get tired of seeing my opponent get set and spiked into a home run swing, then fly across the screen so far you have to zoom way out. Or you can just chuck a hardball in their face, that works too. Honorable mention goes to Steve's dad, AKA Hideo, the teacher with nerd glasses, fighting gloves, and M. Bison shoulder pads, the Ryu/Ken of Rival Schools. That's the only reason I don't talk more shiet over at Steve's house.
(10) The Hulk - Okay not an original game character, but come on. How fun was it to fight with this guy. Big round punch sends the other guy flying. Or you can grab his head, swing him around like a windmill a few times, and fling. Or best of all, JUMP UP AND GRAB A METEOR AND BRING IT DOWN ON THE OTHER GUY'S HEAD. It's gotta be fun to design these games. I used to read comic books, and I love what Capcom did with all the Marvel characters.
Honorable mention (i.e. I cheat):
(A) 3 green jets (Combat) - Ah, Atari. Classic. Remember this one? Most uneven match ever. 3 green jets each shoot a bullet, for a wide range of shot. The other guy gets to shoot one bullet from one long red jet that's pretty much just a huge target to put smiles on the green army's faces. Tough choice, but I'll take the SURE WINNER.
(B) Buckets (Kaboom!) - The Mad Bomber. That relentless muthafacka. Dropping bombs in a steady stream but trusty old Buckets don't ever fill up. If the first one missed, the second or third will take care of it. Teamwork. Where's the 3D multiplayer version of this?
(C) Elf (Gauntlet) - Shoot enemies from far away, then run in and steal all the items. I grabbed that joystick first for shizzle.
(D) Bub & Bob - I think those were their names... the Bubble Bobble heroes, before they sold out with Bust-a-Move/Puzzle Bobble. The game was fun and addictive, and these guys took care of business with nothing but spit bubbles and smiles.
(E) Samurai Shodown and Darkstalkers characters - These games deserved way more of my attention than they got. Both had excellent and stylish design, as well as innovative game play aspects.
dance contest
The Best Dancer in the Bay contest, presented by the Flavor Group, took place at DNA Lounge in SF on February 28. I found out about it at the nustudios forum. Occasionally at clubs I've seen dance circles with people getting down for a crowd, and wondered if I could hang. Usually I'd only do mini-exhibitions for friends at parties when they egged me on enough. I hate looking back with regret wondering if I could've done this or that, so I decided I would sign up for this contest and see what the funk I got.
I reviewed my dance tapes and practiced popping (it had been a while). I didn't tell a lot of people about it (besides a Friendster post that no one saw)... this was really a personal trial and I was ready to go it alone. But I invited a few friends who I thought might be interested, and when the time came, Bryant came along to see me compete. He got to hold my keys, wallet, and watch when I went on stage--thanks man. When we got there a few people were warming up, and I didn't see anything too impressive, but I could tell it was better than the typical night in a club. I was a little nervous, not knowing what to expect, but it was that exciting kind of nervous that we should all feel once in a while.
I was #22 in the order for the 24 first round entrants in the contest. Everyone got 30 seconds to dance to whatever the DJ was spinning at the time... mostly hip hop and house beats. As people did their thing, I thought some were pretty good and had some style. It seemed like a lot of people had basic popping skills, but I didn't see a lot of really hard, sharp popping. Then it happened. I was near the stage, and I swear #20 was on stage, but then they called out my name. "All right switch it up... J Pop... J Pop where you at?" I was behind a few people next to the stage, and had to raise my hand to make sure they didn't skip me. I squeezed through the crowd and got on stage, but at that time I felt rushed to get myself up there, and when I started dancing...
After my failed attempt at making a strong debut performance for myself, the battles began. 7 people plus the returning champion Jamar made the second round. Eventually it was down to two guys, Madd Chadd and J Rock. Madd Chadd did some slow robot moves the whole time, but he was damn good at it. J Rock was very versatile, with various styles including popping and locking. Madd Chadd ended up winning, probably largely due to his slow-mo ground moves into windmill trick, which was tight. It turns out the two guys are roommates who drove up from LA.
So in summary I stunk up the place, but it's still better than never having tried. I learned from it... a little about how battles like this are run, and what judges are really gonna look for. And I know without question that I could do way better than I did, I just have to get used to performing and the judging aspect, and focus on busting out impressive and entertaining moves. If anyone wants to get in on this let me know and we'll have some practice sessions. Otherwise... I need new friends dammit.
Gambling on TV: the WSOB
Okay have you guys seen this? I did just today... The World Series of Blackjack. ... ... Come on now. Blackjack is a guts-or-numbers game. Either you have the guts to bet a lot and hope you get lucky, or you play by the numbers and master a probabilistic strategy. The only reliable way to win is to count cards, and even so a tremendous amount is left up to chance. What you do really has no effect on the other players, except if you hit they have one more card to count. But they've got this show set up all dramatic and competitive, with commentators explaining the rules, etc. One player was spouting off probabilities ("I was 70% to win that") and even trying to READ THE DEALER after she checked her hole card for a blackjack. Please. In poker, you can read players because they have something at stake. They want to win the pot... THEY CARE. Blackjack dealers DO NOT CARE. It's not their money at stake. They're probably bored out of their minds, and only find amusement in stupid-looking, talkative, or extremely bad gamblers. But anyways, you watch the players make their decisions, and the double down cards aren't revealed until the end OOOOH SUSPENSE. The only interesting part is that the players just need to have more money than the other players when it's over. So they can bet whatever amount they want. If it's near the end, and someone figures it's all or nothing, he might get lucky on an "all-in" bet. That's not skill. That's Jeopardy. So in summary it's stupid and I don't recommend it. But keep an eye out for the WSOPaiGow.
