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| The separation date was probably closer to July. |
I remember this day pretty well - all of us at the office were nervous. We knew that the e-mails were coming to let us know what life had in store for us. Letters rolled in around 10:00 AM - you could hear all around the office the sighs of relief, the quiet congratulations/condolences... My manager got a letter well before I was to receive mine. His job was safe, he was going to be doing something comparable. 12:00 rolls around and a few of us still hadn't gotten letters so I was getting nervous. I knew my chances were slim, but I was holding out some hope. Then my boss calls me into his office and lets me down gently. He tells me that I was not going to be offered continued employment and that I would be let go after we finish our current projects. He was really good about it and I knew that wasn't a very pleasant conversation to have... I got back to my desk and saw the letter above. I definitely went home for the day to process the fact that I was going to be laid off.
Now before I continue my story, I want to make something clear - I know I was extremely lucky to get a longer notice and that I had a really cool boss that understood how to handle the coming stressful months...
Anyway, moving on...
The weeks following the notice were pretty rough. I had so many thoughts run through my mind every day... How long will we have before our savings run out after I lose my job? Will I be able to find a job on this level again? (The job I was losing was my first taste of serious corporate life.) Will I have to go back to slanging coffee? How do I cut costs now and how much can I start saving before the inevitable deadline?
I remember that the months after this announcement were filled with worry. I no longer felt financially secure. I thought about all that money wasted that I probably should have saved... I cursed my poor choices in the past and knew I should have been better prepared for something like this. We were vulnerable and that feeling was the worst. Every check I got after the letter needed to be guarded, every dollar saved in case it came down to the wire.
Resumes went out by the dozens - I was pretty indiscriminate about my next job, just as long as it was a job. I sent resumes for anything I was remotely qualified for - even if there was a large pay cut. I just knew I needed to get out there and interview. The horror stories about people being out of work for years crossed my mind. We couldn't possibly survive me being out of work for that long...
For all the resumes I sent out in the three months, I only got 2 responses back. One was for an HR assistant job at a video game company. Not to sound snobby, but the job was a bit of a step down from what I was doing... It was mostly admin work with a low possibility of moving up. I took it because it was a video game company! Oddly enough when I went in to interview, I completely bombed it. It was one of the worst interviews I had ever given. I left feeling pretty crushed. If I couldn't even pass an interview I knew I was overqualified for, what possible chance did I have finding something comparable?
The second one turned out to be the job I have currently. I realize that this doesn't usually happen, especially in times of layoffs, but don't let that take away from my next message.
I write this because I want others to know how I felt about being laid off. I hope no one reading this ever gets laid off, but the cold fact is that lay offs happen in our world. It's uncontrollable and it's something that can happen with little warning.
It's OK to feel the self-doubt and worry. We wouldn't be human if we never felt this way. The only advice I have is to keep trying and believe in yourself again. Sounds corny, but it's truth. Don't give up. Even if you think you're being laid off from your dream job, remember all the little irritations that you still have about the job. Keep looking and find the things about the jobs you apply for that you might enjoy. Throw your name out there - tell your story to people. You may find you know someone that can help you out. Go into interviews not with thoughts of desperation, but of confidence. Believe that your ex-company is making a mistake for letting you go and that the next company can benefit from someone who wouldn't normally be out looking for a job.
