Brian I totally feel you. So you don't have to go through this alone...I am going to erase my whole bankroll with all my winnings. Even all the times I won at Garden...and Bay...and online...Haha! I'm such an ass. Speaking of Excel spreadsheet...how bout Jon share his spreadsheet with us. That way you can see what a winning poker players swings are. You can then compare your own with his to see if you are sitting too long, playing too many hands etc. If you ask Jon nicely by licking around his ass he just might give it to you.

But seriously I think I have a solution and a reason why you can't lay down some hands. Of course I need to find out exactly what you aren't laying down against what is on the board, but I actually in a way have a similiar problem. More from me later...or perhaps a big long argument at Obon. That way this blog means nothing. Except for the top.

If it makes you feel any better...after you left...we all lost money. Jon did too. There lies the fact that you can be a solid player who studies the game but still lose. So don't beat yourself up. (When I lose it's because the Charlies at the table are colluding against me)

So here I am at 11:30 at night, still bitter at today's losses... I went out to the local arcade to get it out of my system, but some of it still lingers. Why the hell am I not disciplined enough to fold to a solid player?

All of that aside though... I am now determined to see my worth as a poker player. Excel sheet has been made, and I'm starting with $100 in the hole. I'll start with a bank roll next week and go from there. If I tap, I know something is seriously wrong. If not? I'll just blame it all on swings :)

Well this blog is going to be a bit lopsided since I will be talking about a relationship and also poker strategy. Yet this one won't be too long so don't worry.

Bryant I respect the time and effort you put into making this decision. Everyone understands that it was not an easy one to make any way you look at it. Of course there will be talks filled with the usual "it takes time" yet not matter how cliche that sounds...it really is true. I know I told you this on the phone, but I wanted to say it again here so you can look back on this in case you need it and also because I am the smartest person on this blog. Hehe.

You will probably start to feel guilty. Not necessarily for the decision you made (that is a whole 'nother story) but for the fact that "in time" you will start to accept the single life. I just wanted to tell you that knowing what I know about the situation...you made the right decision even though right now it might not seem like it. You made the right decision for you and that is something no one can take away from you. You have worked hard for what you have accomplished so far. You work harder than anyone else I know of (well maybe not Andy hehe.) and you deserve everything you worked for...so embrace it. Live life and when the time is right you will be ready.

Ready to make money that is. Okay so that transition wasn't the best and no the importance of each subject is not shown in length...Poker takes a lot more explaining which is why I took more time in writing this second section than discussing Bryant's situation. I think if he needs to talk we'll talk personally so with that being said...This is regarding the post Brian put up. Once again he shows everyone that I think about cards way toooo much. In case you didn't know about my theory and no I didn't just read that book Brian is reading on advanced hold em...I actually tried this at Bay101 when I noticed this for the first time...

If you read Lee Jones or even attempted to finish it you will know that he is a big believer in ramming and jamming the pot when you got a strong starting hand in hold em especially in late position. I like to think Jon and I are a couple of young kids who like to punish the old folks at the table...however I recently discovered that perhaps raising your hands might be questionable at the table even though it is what you know.

For example let us take the AK...shit let us even hope that you get to overcome the 331 to 1 odds and the AK is also suited. Now from what you know (and hopefully you know this) you should raise it up...perhaps it is even worth a reraise. The odds are very good that you are going to hit your A or K on the flop giving you a very strong hand. (The odds are about 2 to 1 against or roughly 30 percent to hit) So why shouldn't you raise?

Well the reason you shouldn't raise is because you aren't playing in limits high enough to play sneaky poker. Even if you cap the bets, people will now just call to make the game exciting to them. Remember most of these people are here to gamble. The raise is supposed to protect against people playing garbage...but when your limit is so low at the table...people play garbage all the time for the thrill of it. Now AKs makes more sense in this situation where you might want to just call the bet on the flop but what about huge pairs like QQ or KK? (AA speaks for itself...you stick in as many bets as you can no matter what...how you play on the flop is where the skill comes in and yes I myself have had the discipline to lay them down after the flop).

QQ and KK is a huge hand I admit. Yet the chance that someone holds the ACE that will trump the sluts and cowboys in a 9 handed game is around 83 percent (yes I had to look that one up) so I would recommend raising perhaps once to see where you are at. If you have that crazy chance to flop a set then you can ram and jam the pot since no one will put you on a set. This is where my whole being a pussy theory comes in...

The argument Brian, Jon and myself were having was the fact that I stated that you can play softly before the flop because if you do hit a strong flop you can now build up the pot because people are crazy and will call your bets. Yet what about protecting your hands? Well what good is protection if it costs a shitload of bets and it doens't even work? In some cases you might want to play your big pairs or AKs softly because what if the garbage that they are holding gives them some slim draws or perhaps even middle pair?

I'm not going into a huge statistical argument on this. For the most part I will admit that Lee Jones is a solid teacher and played a huge part in the foundation of my knowledge of Hold em...so I leave you with this...

Put yourself in one of two categories...

If you see Poker as a hobby AND doesn't play that much too often in card rooms - You should give this a try. You will save bets and you might also risk losing to some garbage cards...but remember if you start off with a strong hand, the chances of you winning is greater than someone who plays trash and winning against you. I'm not saying to totally be a pussy..you still need to be aggressive...but remember that betting to protect is in my mind overrated before the flop in these smaller limit games.

If you see Poker as a hobby BUT keeps records for the long haul - Play your normal aggressive game...go ahead and reraise with the AKs for instance, but remember that your bankroll is a bit larger (I don't mean bankroll as monthly income...I mean it in the winning vs. losses dollars) so you can go ahead and take your chances on some things. Yet even though while testing this theory I have won just over 550.00, so I will take my observation to heart while still mixing it up with my aggressive game.

Now reading back on this blog I realized I have stated something that seems a bit confusing. I said "...the chances of you winning (if you hold strong preflop hands) is greater than someone who plays trash and winning against you." So why would you not want to stick in bets before the flop? Here is the thing...

I am not writing this to tell you how to play poker. I'm not saying this is the only way to play your strong hands pre-flop. What I am telling you is that if you decide you want to go play one afternoon with 100 bucks...even with 200 bucks in your pocket and you want to come out a winner you need to tighten up your game preflop because if you keep raising and reraising you are liable to lose a lot of money on gambles...before you know it your money is gone and you only played for 3 hours. You simply don't have the bankroll with you to be all out aggressive. Now if you set lets say...1200 bucks aside for nothing but poker you can play your hands more aggressivly since you are hoping your payoffs are huge...yet I can't say this enough...if you want to make money one afternoon playing cards you have to treat that 100 or 200 bucks like it is your last because you just want to come up some money that afternoon, you aren't going to reinvest that money back into your bankroll.

If you are confused and have any questions go ahead and blog...I know this observations doesnt' seem clear but so far my winnings have given this argument some validity. In case you were wondering I tried this out during the 24 hours this past week I played cards. I'll probably play on Friday so I'll let you know how that goes.

Well, I was told by Brian that I need to post. He informed that it had been a while...so here we go...

I know I've written posts in the past about my relationships, so to keep consistent, here we are again.

Tiffany and I just broke up. Well, we're taking a break until, pretty much until I can get back in control of my life. It was easily the hardest thing I've ever done to date. How can I break up w/ someone that I truly love and enjoy being around? I can't explain it the reason why I was feeling this way, but for some reason for a while now, I was just feeling like I wasn't ready to be in a long term, long distance relationship anymore. It felt like there was too much work involved and energy being put in, where I didn't have time for myself. Time for myself to figure out who I really am and what I really want to do. I felt like I was concentrating my whole life on my relationship and honestly, I think my body was breaking down. Add in work, parents getting older and going to the hospital, finding a house and I think both physically and mentally, I was getting drained. I had to take the risk that I may never be together with Tiff again, so that I can just take a breather in life. It's the toughest call I've ever had to make and I just can't believe I did it.

Ever since high school, all I wanted was a stable relationship. I was called Mr. Stability by all and had everyone shocked when I told them about my dilemma. I always dreamed of just being with one girl and being with her forever. For some reason, in the past few months I've learned that forever is a hella long time. I will probably be together with someone for the rest of my life, so I saw being single for a year or so as not being too bad. I saw being single for a little bit as a time for me to stop growing so fast and just to take things one day at a time.

I've realized this was the first time I've broken up w/ a girl since high school. Except 6 years later, it hurts ten times more. I guess that's what happens when you truly care about someone. I've just realized that I've never cried so much over a girl. Even with the others, I was just depressed, never really cried. It's just weird to think about, you know?

While talking with Tiff, she became understanding to why I had to do this and what sucks is that's what I love about her. How understanding she is, how much she cared for me, and how she wants what's best for me as well. I realized how much our personalities really matched, how I finally found a girl that can tolerate Brendan and friends, and how much I can truly care about a person.

The good thing is we talked things out more and decided that both of us would love to stay friends. She's become one of my best friends and I would really hate to lose that. I'm so serious on this one when I say I want us to be friends and I will try my best when the dust settles to do that.........it's just going to be so hard.

We also talked about getting together again and we both have said that it'll probably be some time before we get back together. On my part, I definitely have to be ready and sure that I'm ready to go for the long haul in a relationship. Things happen for a reason and I hope in time that fate has a plan for Tiff and I.

The hardest part of the night was hanging up the phone. We both realized that we wouldn't be a couple after that. We became "friends" and it was evident when Tiff said, "Good night Bryant." Usually she says, "Good night babe, love you." Sorry for the sappinest, but it truly donned on me that it was the first sign of us being friends. I didn't think this would affect me this much, but I have been wrong on a lot of things.

I guess the ball's in my court to figure out my life and just to relax a bit...

Life's going to be different starting tommorrow (today actually)...first time I'll see Tiff again is Obon, I hope it's not too weird.

Thanks to those who talked to me and gave me advice. I really needed someone to listen and none of you hesitated to hear me out. I'm truly lucky to have friends like you.

I keep asking myself, "How could this happen?" Steve's right, you can't control emotions, I surely wish I could.

Sorry for the depressing post, but I thought my best/good friends should know about this.

Good night all and take care.

Page 159 in the Hold 'em for advanced players:
"In a loose passive game where many people see the flop and then play poorly after that... You should: .... Frequently keep it to a single bet before the flop more than most people think because you gain a lot when bad players make incorrect calls on the flop and beyond, as long as the pot is kept small....

With a hand that is pretty good but not great, if you don't raise and thereby cost yourself a little bit of money at that point, you gain it back plus some because had you made the pot bigger there would be less opportunity for your opponents to make significant mistakes later on."

Not very well worded, and it took me 2 or 3 times of reading it to understand, but it proves Brendan's point exactly.