I told Bryant I wanted to do an interview for his stupid class for whatever reason I cannot explain. I thought responses could be pretty funny so I decided to post them here. Who knew that Brendan thought of relationships outside of him and videogames. This is going to be long and I recommend you don't read this unless you are Bryant.

1. What are the characteristics you believe would be essential in a life partner or spouse? If you can, briefly explain each characteristic.

Haha life partner. That shit is hilarious. Well here is what I'm looking for...just not right now obviously.

1.) You have to be willing to communicate. I don't want some stupid bitch that decides she is unhappy about something in the relationship or with me without telling me. "You should know if you loved me blah blah blah" is a worthless excuse. No one can read minds. So if something is bugging you then express it. If not then that tells me you aren't comfortable with me and that means this relationship is not going to work.

2.) Sense of humor. God damn. DO NOT TAKE yourself too seriously. Life is too short to be wondering what other people think. Live your life with no regrets. Live it and laugh in it. If you can't joke with your partner than who can you joke around with? No jokes means no fun which means too serious which means bullshit.

3.) Sense of seriousness. On the other hand you have to be willing to calm down on the jokes when something does go wrong. If something is bugging me and I tell her I don't want her joking about it unless I'm totally out of line. Which I never am.

4.) Good family values. If she has a strong family then she comes from a strong home. Baggage sucks and I know everyone has it but you can definetely try to find someone who has a lighter load than a 747.

5.) For God's sake have some fucking confidence. I've seen relationships where one or both people have little confidence. Jesus shit. If that other person chose you to begin with than obviously you have some good qualities that the other person likes. Exploit that shit.

6.) Videogames. If you can't give me some space then forget it. I'll let you go out with your little girlfriends and you can bitch and whine all you want about how much I play videogames so in turn you let me swear at the consoles for cheating. It's the least you can do.

7.) You must NOT know French. Dirty shit. And NO watersports. That shit is dirty too.

2. What are the characteristics that are important in working that contribute to long-term happiness and fulfillment? If you can, briefly explain each characteristic.

1.) Appreciation. No matter how confidant you are and no matter how much you don't care about what other people think...you like to hear a little "thanks" or "good job" every once in a while. Preferably in money format.

2.) When you come home from the day you gotta feel like you accomplished something. If I make a film and it makes people laugh or forget about their problems than I feel as if I did something. Feeding people their stupid bagels does not do that for me.

3.) Being able to help others in your craft. I hope when I'm successful I can help other students try to achieve their dreams. Of course they have to be good or else fuck them. I hope they fail.

4.) To be remembered. I think that is why I'm going to jump off in the film business...risk wise I mean. If you are good and you make meaningful films you will be remembered by a community of creative people. Can't say the same for most other jobs. Not that other jobs are less superior! =)

3. Which is more important love or work? Explain.

Work should never be your life. In fact I am not going to choose either of these because...YOU NEED TO LOVE YOUR WORK AND YOU NEED TO WORK AT LOVE. Simple.

4. Can 'perfect' love and work co-exist? Why or why not?

What is perfect? To some people flawed love is perfect because they can't see clearly. I think a more appropriate word would be happy and fullfulling love and work. Yes it can. There is no right or wrong answer. It is different for everyone. Some people like to work more...some people like to love more...either way they can co-exist but you need to work hard at both especially if you want both.

5. Do you consider yourself to having a "real job?

I hardly consider spreading lox on bagels is a real job. I don't consider it a real job since this is not what I want to do with the rest of my life. If I loved bagels and bagels were my life I'd say that this is a good job. Since bagels cannot transform into cameras well...shit out of luck.

6. Have you been in a serious relationship? If no, why not.

I'm gonna get a lot of flak for this one I'm sure. No I have not and I don't intend to be in one anytime soon. I'm happy where I am and I'm happy I don't need to think of someone else or how my decisions affect anyone else but me. Film is a fulltime thing and when I actually get to start working in film I won't ahve time for these little drama games. Hopefully when I'm more established I can start to be depressed about being along or dying alone...but right now I don't give a fuck. And that is the truth. It has nothing to do with confidence or with taking risks. All it means is that someone who I care about should not be put on a the back burner...no one deserves that.

7. Are your ideas of work and love different then when you were in high school?

Honestly, NO. If you have known me for some time you know that I have always thought of myself as more "mature" (I use that only for lack of a better word) than most others. The reason is becuse I've seen a lot of relationships. I've been in relationships indirectly. From my cousins to my friends to people I don't talk to anymore now...I have learned a lot by being on the sideline. Like my mommy says, "He is wiser beyond his EARS. As for work. I have always thought I would take the risks while I am young. I have seen people in jobs they don't enjoy. I am not going to be one of them...well not until I fail at that.

Dear Tony,

Congrats on everything you've accomplished! No doubt you have come a long way and you will be rewarded with what you deserve in the future. Obviously this goes for all the soon to be graduates but what makes this post so special is the fact that I am saying this to new people whom I never thought I would be talking to five years from high school. Tony you have always made an effort to call me even when you were hanging out with Brendan and Andrew. You've always tried to include me and for that I am very grateful. No doubt you put out more effort towards me than I have of you...but I guess that is what makes you so likeable. So I just wanted to say thanks for everything you have done for me and I consider you part of my close group of friends...and you know me. I don't make that many friends. Oh yeah...you can do one more thing for me. GET RID OF THAT FRUIT VIDEO! =) Good luck in Dallas and wherever that takes you. Like I said earlier...it couldn't have happened to a better guy. Here's to people who dream and to those who are willing to risk everything to make 'em happen. Pass some of that shit on over to me Tee.

Dear Captain,

Interesting points in your little A.I. stuff. You are true on the point that our brains keep us from reaching maximum potential. That isn't new. How many times (granted you are sober) have you thought twice about doing something because of what other people will think of you (exclude Hapachan)? We are slaves to our brains, but those who dare to define for themselves what they wish to make of their lives will ultimately be the ones who have no regret when they are dying. Alan Turing was a genius who tried to create AI. He conducted tests on how we could ultimately see if a computer achieved "intelligence". Yet he made the point that a computer that can map the brain and create another computer is no longer a computer. Therefore we could not label it artificial. I mean what is artificial? Something that is non living having live characteristics and thoughts. Stupid Soroslutsies are artificial. Which brings me to another crazy point. A virus. No doubt a living organism. However their brain matter has like 2 functions. Fuck me over and multiply. Humans are just a bigger virus with more functions. These functions sometimes create disagreements with each other. This is where I feel emotions stem from. The disharmonizing of our basic functions. Strip out emotions and we are nothing less than a bigger virus. Emotions are nothing but chemicals. That is all. None of this makes sense...but it's better than the Matrix. On a side note captain...all the best Animatrix shorts weren't even written by the WACKowski Bros.

Dear Derek,

You owe me about $2.56 for using my computer for approximately 9 hours on Saturday. Haha. Good luck on your presentation. Nemo soon? Raked in 70 million since you were just talking about Pixar. I wonder if our stock went up...or if my dad sold it. If he did...well don't invest your money in him. GWahha. Just kidding. Invest ur money with him. I need to eat.

Dear Nintendo and other loyal customers of Nintendo,

Wario Ware. 80 on 9-Volt. No one will beat me...HOWEVER TONY as of 11:10 pm on Monday night got 76. I'm gonna start playing again. Yawn...Since I got 9-volt locked up (hehe) does anyone care to try to put a top score on another stage? I'm ready for you! Wheeee....I want 100. We can do it guys! GameboySP's UNITE!

Dear Film Viewers,

I finally started to buy my Audrey Hepburn collection. Only 3 more films to go. So far i've watched all the ones I have (Sabrina, Roman Holiday, Breakfast and Tiffany's) and I love them all. Of course setting aside how I love Audrey (ewww..she's dead for God's sake) the films are cool for this reason. All romantic comedy's out there rip off all these old films. If you can get past the black and white I'd recommend seeing these ALTHOUGH I do feel I'm a little more appreciative them some of you. I mean...they don't match up to SPICE WORLD...but they are quality viewing nonetheless. The jokes of course don't have the same impact, but the story, acting and directing are why these are part of the top films of all time.

Dear WACKowski Incent Love Brothers,

Equilibrium kicked your fucking ass. I'm now postive that you got fucking lucky with the first Matrix. You didn't need to story tell in that one. You just ran with a simple plot of "maybe we are plugged in...unplug yourself...free your mind". Now that you need to go into more levels with the story you are fucked. Revolutions will suck. Why don't you stop focusing on cool effects and start trying to create something respectful. For those that understand this obscure reference..."HEY...HEY NEO...THE CLERIC WOULD DODGE ALL YOUR STUPID KUNGFU SHIT AND SHOVE TWO BULLETS IN BOTH YOUR EYES AND WILL ALWAYS DRESS BETTER THAN YOU EVER WILL". Just because you can do effects doesn't mean you should fucking do it. Now you just look like some stupid fucking fake hip hop video using stupid effects cuz they are on the same computer you are editing on. While we are on the topic FUCK HIPHOP. GIVE ME SOME REAL FUCKING VIDEOS WITH MEANING..WITH FEELING...WITH CONTENT...I DON'T NEED TO SEE SOME BITCH ON THE FUCKING SCREEN FLAUNTING HER DIRTY ASS AND CARRYING DISEASES THAT WOULD MAKE MY COCK FALL OFF. Jesus...WHY THE FUCK CAN'T I GET A JOB. I guess I'm not stupid enough.

I'm done. Good luck again Tony. Don't forget to blog about all the Dallas stuff. If you see Mark Cuban tell him to get a fucking haircut. And I know what your saying..."Why don't you get a haircut". I fucking would if I was worth 7 plus billion dollars.

"Do your part in helping Gaia clean up the planet. When you see a wannabe black FOB shoot them on site and burn them with gasoline. If we take care of the wannabe black FOBS now the world will be a cleaner place. The power is yours!!" Captain Planet.