DISCLAIMER: Not aimed toward Derek or any other religious people I know. All of you are still my friends even though I dont' believe what you believe and that is enough to give you the upmost respect from me. Now onto the bashing.

Yeah time for me to jump all over disabled women without feeding tubes down their necks. Of course I'm talking about Terri Schiavo. I don't really know why I'm talking about this considering that all in all I don't really care either which way, but it is an interesting topic that I can humor and examine myself with.

The first thing that gets me laughing is the fact that all these religious people have come out of the woodworks and started talking about pro-life and using this as a way to get their ideologies out to people like me who don't care. I believe what I believe and you believe what you believe, the difference is that I don't push it on anyone. Besides the religious figures that are close to the Schindler and the Schiavo family, the rest can get off my television. You are using this women who is in enough pain already (Not eating for 13 days? Damn.) and you are using her as a platform for another agenda.

Second goes out to the both the families. Apparently these people have never seen Soul Food. The family has got to come together in this tragic time, but NAH. Not today. They'd rather argue and argue and argue even when she just died today. Ridiculous. For one, the Schindler family...HELLLLOOOO, wake up. She married somebody and she told her husband that she didn't want to be put on artificial life. Respect it.

Then again they could have run a simple test to see that whether or not she really was brain dead. The husband I guess decided against it. That is kind of shady in itself. But here is the real question...

DOES YOUR BRAIN FIRING OFF LITTLE JOLTS OF ELECTRICITY COUNT AS NOT BEING IN A VEGATATIVE STATE?

I mean I'm not doctor, but I'm pretty sure artificial life means any mechanical device that keeps you alive. Again take my opinion with a grain of salt, but I'm pretty sure that Terri Schiavo not being able to eat and having a feeding tube down her throat just to survive counts as artifical life. Again I'm not sure, but I think she really is DEAD so it was keeping her alive. Perhaps God needed her for whatever special reason...as a doorstop perhaps...

Now some can make an argument about...well maybe she just couldn't speak for herself. Well getting rid of that tube is probably a good place to start (that is kind of fucked up hehe), but she coudn't write, she couldn't respond so all they had going was what she supposedly said to her husband about letting her die.

In fact I'm probably putting the blame in the wrong hands. It is neither the Schindler's fault or the Schiavo's fault. It is in fact Terri Schiavo. There I said it. She fucked up. And yet all of us are with her in the same boat since I bet none of us have even considered the possiblity of us being in a vegatative state. Of course this blog isn't legally binding, but let us set this record straight...and while I'm at it I'm going to write my obituary as well. This blog sure did take a morbid turn of events...as if a crippled dying wasn't morbid enough...

I BRENDAN OF SOMEWHAT SOUND MIND AND BODY DECIDE THAT IF I AM PUT ON ANY FORM OF ARTIIFICIAL LIFE AND I CANNOT RESPOND TO EVEN A FRIGG'N FLASHLIGHT IN MY EYES OR JESSICA ALBA NAKED IN THE GQ SPREAD THAT YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND PULL THE PLUG. IN FACT I'LL LET YOU GUYS PUT ALL YOUR NAMES IN A HAT AND WHOMEVER WINS GETS TO PULL THE PLUG. FUCK THE TESTS. THEY COST MONEY. SO WHAT IF LITTLE JOLTS OF ELECTRICITY ARE GOING THROUGH MY HEAD...THAT IS PROBABLY JUST TELLING MY HEART TO KEEP ON BEATING IN MY DEAD, LIFELESS BODY. OH YEAH, BUT BEFORE YOU PULL THE PLUG GIVE ME 25 YEARS TO COME AROUND. HAHA. THAT WAY IT CAN BE LIKE FOREVER YOUNG WITH MEL GIBSON AND I WOULD WAKE UP TO ALL MY FRIENDS PROBABLY DEAD AND NO FAMILY WHATSOEVER. IT'LL BE LIKE DEMOLITION MAN AND I'LL BE A CRAZY OLD LOON LIKE BRAD PITT IN 12 MONKEYS. AND DON'T WE ALL WANT TO BE LIKE BRAD PITT?

Now for my obituary. I thought long and hard, but decided not to make it poetic, but straight to the point...BLuckyDay styles.

Brendan was a lazy person who enjoyed life so much he didn't do anything with it. He always observed without living and him dying is probably for the better. He loved Nintendo and hated Jaguar. His skills in Lumines is unmatched. He loved Poker and was a cocky bastard that used his skills of reading opponents to his upmost advantage because lets face it...he was no fucking genius...there is no way he could calculate pot odds or implied odds or anything having to do with probability...on that note he loved to coffeehouse. Had a cellphone older than balls. Garden State is WAY FUCKING SUPERIOR THAN NAPOLEAN FAGGOT. AND ANYONE WHO LIKED NAPOLEAN CAN SUCK HIS LIFELESS DICK. Brendan cared for his family and even killed Kylie the fuckbitch who screwed Ricki over, but somehow she is still ignorant of that fact. Wondered why his parents kept him and ponders if they knew that animal skin condoms don't work that well. Or that bleach isn't a spermicide. Wait is it? Can't wait to meet Audrey Hepburn and Grace Kelly beyond the gates (haha Derek, I'm scaling the walls because I've played Splinter Cell) and will act like a total gentleman around them. Was a good person that loved sarcasm. In fact he was surrounded by all his friends in his time of death...they are the ones laughing and giggling like little bitches in the 11th row of the church (He had lots of family that gets priority seating). You guys can fight over who gets what, but Jonathan has taken kickboxing so watch out. Plus he really wants a television. Peace and I'll see you in spirit when your having sex with your significant other. Except for Kevin and Bryant. EWWW.

Haha.