Okay so everything is back to normal. Well not with some of my stupid family members. Whatever. I'm tired of it. I hope you guys don't think I was really stressing about it all. I know it came off harsh, but you know me. I only care for myself. So that whole thing was mainly there because I thought you guys might find it funny. In a certain way I hope some of my family members that were written about see it. This oughta be a lot of fun. Oh yeah. Restraining Order: DENIED. Thanks for the laughs you stupid bitches. Don't ever cross my eyeline. I don't really know how I'm going to ignore the fat herd when I get to Fresno...but I figure I can look at them and be thankful I'm not that stupid.

So back to normal. I got Zelda. Beat Zelda last Friday. Good game. Few complaints though. Our dear friend Andy had some words with me about Zelda as well. He doesn't mind the minor setbacks. I do.

Sailing around is overrated. If you are a hardcore Zelda fan you like dungeons. You like solving puzzles in those dungeons. Where the fuck are my dungeons in WindWaker. Well they are gone. Okay there are a few...but when I say few I mean like five. The first three just act as tutorials for the game. And the last dungeon...with the title Ganon's Tower I would have liked to see a Tower. With multiple enemies. Multiple rooms. Multiple puzzles. You should not be able to pass that final dungeon in less than an hour on your first try. Simple as that.

Second gripe is that it is too easy. Hey you touch lava you lose a quarter heart. You fall off a cliff you lose a quarter heart. You drown you lose a quarter heart. Thanks I got like 16 full hearts. I think I can manage a little more damage. Shit even if I took massive damage...every enemy gives me full health after they die anyways. Oh yeah and Ironknuckles are pussies in this game. I guess all the water got to their brains.

Side quests. Andy is a sidequest whore. He past GTA:Vice City again. Shit I'll give him respect. That's a huge game and he completed 100 percent of it. Props to that. But Zelda is not about sidequests. Andy tried to argue that the old Zelda's had sidequests. Hardly. If you take all the sidequests in all Zelda affiliated games and times them by two, you are still not near what Windwaker offers you. So why do I not like sidequests...AHA I never said that. What I'm saying is that Zelda is not about sidequests. Don't screw with a series. If you do you might as well make Mario a simulator about dressing Mario up in different clothing stores. It could work. Shigeru...you had your fun with sailing...but get back to what Zelda is. A solid action RPG...don't add time to a game by making us sail everywhere and bog us down with collecting heart pieces we don't need.

I don't care what Andy thinks. He has to concede that Zelda has been Final Fantasized. This means (and you have to have at least played more than a couple of Final Fantasy games to believe me on this one) that the sidequests take away from the overall story of the game and make the game way too easy. Don't believe me. In the Final Fantasy games where I got Ultimate Weapons and Ultimate Summons: Game easier than fuck. Zelda same way. Now of course so I don't get blindsided by some arguments I will say that the sidequests are cool. Yet one of the sidequests is just like Pokemon Snap for the N64. The other requires finding heart pieces that you will not need. A lot of them don't add to the story and aren't a puzzle to get. They are just there for you to find. I got bored with it.

So Zelda is dope. I will give you that. I am a very dedicated Zelda fan. I might be called a "fanboy" when it comes to this cherished series...all I'm saying is that the Zelda universe is heading in the right direction...I just think that it took an exit to early. Smash all the little pussy islands together and you get the size of the map in the original Zelda. Either way, the end is dope. The last boss is dope. The graphics are dope. Running errands instead of Zelda-esque game play is bullshit.

Evanescense. I told Bryant that if LP threw out talent and replaced Chester with Enya you got Escense. It'll grow on me though. Of course LP isn't the first to define this genre of music but everytime I hear it...it just sounds like a rip of LP with subtle nuances. They got a track on their album called "October"...I told B that they should just change it to "My October". Who the fuck are they kidding.

As to Jon's question: You always settle. I don't care who you are. If I was dating Kristin Kreuk right now and she was all over me...I bet my ass that I would still think that there is something out there rather than a Canuck. But that is me. I hope I don't "settle" in the most negative definition. But I think everyone settles for something. Posing a question like that is impossible to answer. Of course Jon the logical one will think otherwise. Remember not everyone is like you or anyone else for that matter. My definition for settle still involves being happy. Yet it is human nature to always wish for more. If you never settle then you will never reach any goals and you will feel like a complete failure in life. Makes sense? I doubt it. Then again you are not me. See I told you. Different shit for all of us. BTW Bryant will be married soon. T-Bola has her clutches around him too much. Have fun buddy. Let's drink till our hearts stop!

So this whole conversation that Jon and I had about actresses got me thinking a little bit. Everyone knows the usual girls that we believe are cute. Kristin/Olivia for me. Halle Berry for Jon. TBola for Bryant...BUZZ incorrect. She is not an actress...get her ass outta here now. Bryant likes Kristin/Katie that girl from 10 Things. Well whatever. So we all know the popular choices. I thought it would be cool to think of famous people that don't qualify as the "of course you think she's fine" description. I know we all have some people in the back of our heads. I dunno. I thought this might be fun.

I can speak for Kevin and I when I say that we like Maura Tierney. Not really sure. Definetely not Brendan's standard type but I like her. Yeah blah blah blah she's older. That's good. She can pay the bills. ER must be paying her some decent money. Well whatever. I got some more somewhere in the back of my head. Maybe I should create a list of who we cannot say: Olivia, Kristin, Alyssa, Katie, Halle, Josie, Jessica etc. We know who the main people are. Have fun...it'll be cool to see who you always thought was cute. Especially when we all say that she is ugly. Hehe.

Whatever happened to Mental Abstraction? Bitch just stopped updating. Damn straight. Oh yeah congrats to Bryant on the one month with his ball and chain. It takes a lot of effort to lug that shit around all the time...but you did it. Here is to many more. LET'S DRINK TILL OUR HEARTS STOP OR WE ALL DIE OF THE EBOLA VIRUS...WHICHEVER COMES FIRST...

*plops down dead*

With his last dying breath Brendan softly whispers, "No you can't have my Wega. A killer like T-Bola doesn't deserve it cause she would take that shit away as quickly as your freedom to not drive everywhere. Haha. Ugh...there is no God...I knew it..."