Wow it has been a while since I've last blogged. Where to start...I guess with the important stuff.

My cousin Jennifer and Allen got married this past weekend. It was pretty awesome. First off it was very cool to see all my cousins and family whom I haven't seen in quite a while. I can't believe all my cousins' kids are growing up so fast. Of course my side of the family tore up the dance floor...I can't tell you how lucky I am to have the type of family where my grandparents (on my mom's side) are raising the roof on songs from Little John or Usher. So thanks Allen and Jennifer for an awesome evening filled with dope ass dishes from Fung Lum...spelling? Thanks to Allen's parents who own the restaurant in letting us eat some awesome dishes. Haha, next time you might not want to have it open bar when the Tazumi clan comes knock'n on the Chinese doors. Oh yeah and congrats! Hehe.

So how good was this party? You fuckers that went away to college think your parties could stand up to the wedding? Well how about this then...did any of those parties want to make a baby come out 1 month earlier to get this party started? I didn't think so. I now have a new cousin (the last of the grandchildren for the Tazumi side...the grandchildren span decades...at this rate they will have great great grandchildren) and Sydnie has a new brother to torment. For those who aren't around...Sydnie has called him Stitch since my Auntie Mimi's stomach started getting ridiculously big (kehkehkeh). So Stitch heard all the comotion on Saturday night and saw how frigg'n awesome this family is and decided that one more month was too long to wait. So Stitch was born on Monday at around 8:30 am. Stich is a healthy baby boy...well until I pollute his head with my thoughts. I can't wait to see Sydnie and Stitch duke it out...although it wouldn't be a fair fight. Sydnie would get all 15 of her friends...of course they are all imaginary. Reminds me of a Calvin and Hobbes strip...and only Hapachan or Eecs know which one I'm probably talking about. So congratulations to my Aunt Mimi and Uncle Joe for having the balls to do this again...and congrats to Sydnie. You now have a slave for the next 6 or so years. Just rememeber he will probably be bigger than you in about 20 years.

The director of Dodgeball is 25. Jesus shit.

So now for my financial secrets. How just how do I have money to do shit? I only work 25 hours a week. I get paid next to nothing. Of course I'm nowhere near Bryant or Jon but both of them are stressed so I win. Haha. Steve here is a rundown of how I think of my savings and spending...I actually think this might be of some use to you...I mean we're both in jobs that pay us not in cash, but rather those little plastic eyeballs that you use in kindergarten to make your alligator look like a fucking cross eyed bitch.
Remember also that I don't know what rent is or what it even means. But I think this still might be helpful...who am I kidding...it's not.

1.) I sleep so much that it seems I get a paycheck every other day rather than every two weeks. Before I know it I slept for three days and I only got 11 more days to go until I get paid again.

2.) Those who know me know that I'm lazy. I currently have five paychecks that aren't cashed, but sitting in my drawer. This actually prevents me from thinking that I have less money than I really do have.

3.) I have enough in my savings where I could buy 10 videogames. That is how I see it and it works. Everytime I have a game in my hand...I holepunch the imaginary, "Buy 10 games and get absolutely nothing free...except 500 dollars less than what you would have" card. Of course those that know me also realize that I use that up in about 1.5 months.

4.) Here is also a little known secret of my success. Jon is gonna be pissed! Of course this is a joke, but it does bring up a funny situation. I make Jon pay for shit and then pay him back when the actual date of whatever it is rolls around. Take Cosby for instance. I think I owe Jon money. Perhaps I don't, but I'll take his word for it. It took me a while to pay that shit off, but Jon enjoys my company so much he would gladly put money up front while I save up for these events. Jon is my loan officer. And the juice is 0 points. Fuck you Derek...Washington Mutual can't even hang with that.

5.) When you move back home...as much as it might piss you off to mooch of your 'rents for a while...I try to be home for dinner as much as possible. That way when they are deciding what to eat I can get in on it...and they pay for it. Because if they didn't they would be Jews. And they don't want to be Jews because I will stick on a yellow star on every single one of their pieces of clothing and make them sleep under the floors.

6.) Stop fucking drinking. You guys can make fun of me all you want about how I don't drink...mainly because I'm allergic to it...and not normal red faced allergic...I mean straight up fucked up with one drink...where I get a stomach cramp, need to puke and get a migraine that feels like Jack Putter getting shot in the eyes by Quaid in Innerspace.

7.) Hire a personal shopper. My mom almost lost her job by not cutting the tags off my pants and shirt she bought me for the wedding. Luckily for her there were no applicants so she gets to keep her job. Haha. I'm not gonna get shit in a long time now...

8.) Poker. I have a gangsta roll in my drawer that I pack away with my paychecks. Now the point of this roll is not to look cocky, but think about this...whenever I take out a twenty or 200 to go to Garden...I physically see it getting smaller and smaller...this effects how I spend my money out of this roll because in my eyes I see that I'm wasting money on stupid shit...and when I gamble with it I play a better game mentally because I know that if I lose the money at Garden, it is going to effect me.

9.) I still play Poker a lot. There are more suckers than ever online. Sure I have my bad days, but for the most part I probably make about 100 bucks profit each week that I actually sit down to play a couple of days. It would be more but I'm playing in larger tournaments for more money to hone my skills...a lot of the winnings go towards that.

10.) Visit no one. Haha. Especially Kevin. Were all gonna get on Nextel soon so now we will never ever have to see each other again...and in the end...isn't that for the best? Shit perhaps we should all get Nextel phones...

11.) Hang out with people that don't have money. Jon and Bryant are an exception...well Bryant has a girlfriend that sucks the wallet dry I'm sure, but Jon is very selective on what he buys...he's not cheap. Just selective. Derek is still in debt. Kick with the poor folks. It's amazing how you can make a party out of Wario Ware inc.'s paper airplane game.

12.) On a side note about sleeping a lot...you can wake up at dinner time and be set for the day when you eat dinner. That is only one meal a day. You win. Of course when you go back to sleep...all the food goes straight to the heart, but I honestly dont' want to live past 30. That way I can actually have a sad funeral where people could say, "he had so much potential...sniff sniff...so much to offer..." rather than 40 years down the line, "he was the father I never knew because he abandoned me because I looked like a Charlie" and "he didn't amount to much...his possesions were few and far between, but he loved life" ending with "alright...well who is up for lunch?"

Steve if you follow these 12 steps you will not only kick your drinking habit but also have the money to do whatever you want when those special occasions come up...like Xmas. Haha!

Brian I'm now having computer withdrawl...I wanna paint. I wanna surf the web...I wanna play online cards...HURRY UP AND GET INTO TOWN SO YOU CAN BUILD THIS COMPUTER...