Why you should not play Roulette
BRIAN... No... Not you too?! Steve once said he had "a system" for roulette that seemed to work. Such claims make logic- and math-minded people cringe, and on darker days, cry. It's true that it's the 0 and 00 slots on the wheel that throw the odds in the house's favor. But even without them, there is NEVER a player edge. A fair gamble has even odds, so the casinos start there and tweak the games in their favor. Observe...

Say all the numbers fall into rows A, B, and C, or columns 1, 2, and 3. You bet $1 on row A and $1 on column 1. In the long run each number, and therefore each row-column combination, should come up with the same frequency.

     1     2     3
A   +$4   +$1   +$1
B   +$1   -$2   -$2
C   +$1   -$2   -$2

Without the 0 and 00 slots you would break even. Remember, when you only win one bet you lose the other, so most of the time you either win one or lose two.

Why you SHOULD play roulette
All that nerdspeak being said, I must admit roulette has become one of my favorite casino games. This is because:

(a) You can make lots of bets. Red/black and odd/even are boring. Rows and columns aren't much better. But in this game you can scatter chips all around the felt, which is fun. Until they all miss and you see the dealer wipe a whole table, spotted with a pastel rainbow of chips, clean. Hey, no game is perfect.

(b) You can play hunches without risking a major mistake. All the bets are equally valid... or close enough. Feel like betting your birthday? Your lucky number? Go ahead. You can bet all your surrounding friends' lucky numbers and then if their number hits... it's hi-five time.*

(c) Your money doesn't disappear crazy fast. They give you enough time to pick your numbers, and there's the suspense as the ball spins around the wheel. (It'd be really exciting if instead of real time you saw a slo-mo zoomed-in view of the ball when it's about to stop somewhere. I think I'd love that.) And then they put that crystal salt shaker down, hopefully near some bets. In contrast, some of those blackjack dealers must be really eager to see pissed off faces. $10 in 10 seconds sounds about right. Entertainment value: ZERO. You're down $50 before you even see a waitress.

(d) It's gambling for dummies. I know, this doesn't really appeal to my personality type, but it makes the game easy for a whole group to play and enjoy. There's no thinking required and no important decisions to make. No stress unless you're betting your bus-ride-home money.

*If you got excited there you failed the test. It's NEVER hi-five time.