Don't worry about being sleepy at work. What's the worst that could happen?

Well, I got fired. So there's that.

Lesson learned? Perhaps. At the least, my mildly tragic history with the old work-sleep conflict has given me much time and reason to think on this subject.

Fortunately for me, LM managers seem to allow scheduling flexibility to a contortionistic degree. So I consistently get about 8 hours of sleep before work (which I declare the minimum for some and the maximum for all), and my homecoming times reach deep into the night.

But I still get tired. Most often this occurs mid-afternoon, when lunch has had time to settle, but not so much time that the excitement of day's end stirs the soul once more. Frustrating indeed, given my above declaration. I refuse to sleep more than a third of my day; if I'm going to be tired anyway, might I as well sleep less? I have sampled such reduced durations of slumber, deliberately and otherwise, often to disastrous effect: namely, even more severe and inescapable tiredness.

However, there are some tricks I use to help me survive the day with slitty eyes still imperceptibly open. Maybe they will help you too...

(1) Avoid heavy meals. A big lunch is suicide for the waking mind. Back in Palo Alto, Eric and I would enjoy many plates at an Indian buffet, and agree that no more work needed to be done that day.

(2) Eat an apple. I once read that apples wake you up more than coffee. I don't drink coffee, so my comparative research may be found lacking, but apples are certainly refreshing, especially when kept chilled. I have even experimented with smelling my apple as a waker-upper. Try it. Then wink like a madman at whoever witnessed your bizarre freakshow.

(3) Snack throughout the day. I am known for using one of the large drawers of my desk as a massive snack stash, and eating almost constantly. I think there are several basic bodily functions: work, consumption (eat, drink), expulsion of waste (peepee, poopoo), reproduction, and sleep. Since you will naturally perform one task more efficiently than two, snacking forces your body to turn your dial from sleep mode to eat-drink mode. Winner.

(4) Drink water. A lot. This follows the same theory as (3), but adds another element: You will have to pee. And you won't pee while you're asleep. And if I'm wrong, I don't want to hear about it.

(5) Go for a walk. Maybe this doesn't apply, but I'm pretty much free to wander the room/building/campus during the day. I try to go for a walk at least once a day, to get some fresh air and sun as a minimum. And leave my cell block to hide under one of the satellite dishes as a maximum.

(6) Dance. In the bathroom. You know it.