The hand at hand

"You can shear a sheep many times, but skin it only once." Brendan's never bothered to learn that. If he scared off dead money I will be very disappointed.

Now THAT would be messed up... so I'm half joking.

Obviously the situation can be argued either way, and you other guys have already made good points. Brendan did what was strategically effective and chose to take advantage of Anthony's lack of experience with poker and our game in particular. Certainly questionable and unnecessary, but not a right-wrong situation, especially since it's poker. Someone should get Anthony's honest opinion.

Etiquette
As I see it, there is one simple rule: Do not discuss anyone's cards unless YOU are heads up.

Examples:
If you folded and the hand is still going, don't say...
- "I keep getting seven two offsuit."
- "Shucks, I woulda hit my gutshot."
- "This pot would've been mine."
- "Fooey."

If you're still in the hand and you are not heads up, don't say...
- "Tony's obviously bluffing, but what do you have?"
- "Jon has top pair but I'm gonna draw out on him."
- "Derek I saw your eights, just fold 'em."

Discussing the cards when you are not involved, or before it is heads up, gives undue information to the players and may affect the play of the hand.

However, once the hand is heads up, I see nothing wrong with the players involved in the hand saying whatever they please. It's all part of the mind game.

Still, it is simpler to have an all-encompassing rule against discussion of cards before the hand is over: Do not discuss anyone's cards until the hand is over. That would avoid any such moral ambiguity.

A "friendly" game
The concept of "friendly" simply does not fit with poker. It's like we've heard before, "There are no friends at the poker table," and "You've gotta think of it as a war." Poker is about taking as much as you can from your opponents, by whatever means necessary (within the confines of the rules and table etiquette). Deception is an important tool and without it the game would be much less interesting.

There are two extremes:

(1) Totally serious: Play your best with any strategies you know, at stakes to make your spouse cry, without apology. Try to gut your friends like the fish they are.

(2) Totally friendly: Goof around, play soft, and give all the money back when it's over. Hugs and s'mores before we tuck each other in.

To me, a real-world friendly game of poker means a compromise between the two:
- Serious strategy and the best play we are capable of
- Lighthearted tone and fun conversation
- Stakes low enough that no one really cares about losing their buy-in

The effects of no-limit
This is part of the reason I like the no-limit limit to be limited to no-limit tournaments. Limit. NO. In a tournament you can lose all your chips in one hand, but your buy-in (plus, occasionally, rebuys) is the most money you can lose. When this is no more than $5 or $10, no one has financial reason to get upset. If you can't afford to lose $5, dinner is on me.

When you get busted out of a tournament you probably think back to how much you put in: "Well, $5 gone." But when you play a cash game, buy in $5, win for a while, then lose $20, that last amount sticks with you. "I can't believe I just lost $20 in one hand." Each chip has real money value, which is not the case in tournaments. There was a point you could have stood up, claimed sleepiness, and gone home a big winner. I've had this feeling many times, just with way more money lost.

On the other hand, only in cash games can everyone stay involved all night long. That's fun.

Back on the first hand, only in tournaments is there a set number of people guaranteed to get some money back. It is possible in any cash game for one player to win all the chips and be despised for weeks.

So I would suggest no-limit for tournaments (for excitement with controlled cash risk), and low limit for cash games (for variety and practice, and so no one gets crazy screwed).

Legitimate words & phrases

Always
Almost always
Usually
Sometimes/Occasionally
Rarely
Almost Never
Never