Okay here's the problem with blog lag. After a while, your responses are late and irrelevant. These topics aren't even on the main page anymore... but you beggars didn't get a menu.

Gubernatorial - yes, it's a word... but why???
This section was lengthy, and has been deleted for two reasons:
(1) I gathered no one would be interested in or able to respond to my opinions on the debate
(2) The debate was a long time ago, and the recall and election are already over. Arnold is governor... rejoice if you're the type.

Transformers
I will forever remember Transformers as my favorite toy and cartoon from childhood. Let's take a trip back and look at the string of gimmicks that sucked us in...

- Transforming robots, mang! What young boy doesn't like robots, jets, tanks, and guns? Whether you liked Transformers or not, the concept is moneymaking genius.

- TV series! What good is a toy without 1/2 hour ads on TV? Sound effects, laser blasts, and animated transformations that no child could truly reproduce. But we kept buying and trying. Where are the toy energon cubes, Autobot Ark base, or a mini model of Cybertron?

- Tech Specs! This was probably my favorite feature. You get a bio card with the Transformer's Function, a revealing quote, a description that will expand your vocabulary and tell you exactly how many psi the TORQUE CANNON produces, and best of all, a jaggy line graph that tells you just where your toy's strengths and weaknesses lie. You're just like freakin' James Bond when ONLY YOU KNOW HOW TO READ IT WITH THE SPECIAL RED DECODER. Strength, Intelligence, Speed, Endurance, Rank, Courage, Firepower, Skill. I used to add them up for the TOTAL TRANSFORMER POWER LEVEL and use that as a deciding factor about which one I wanted. Intelligence was the tiebreaker, of course.

- Proof of Authenticity! "Can you find the black square label on your TRANSFORMER? Rub the label - Watch robot face appear! It is your evidence that this robot is a true TRANSFORMER!" What if they made you gamble? Not all the labels have the face... sorry, try again! That'd be a lot of disappointed, crying kids. But if a kid can't even find the black square, he deserves a Go-Bot.

- Robot Points! Clip, collect and save these, so you can send them in for special Transformers offers! In other words, you get the privilege of spending your allowance on one more useless piece of plastic that wasn't marketable enough to sell in stores. Like the cheap ass cardboard standup base. Damn right I had it.

- Super robots! Autobots had Aerialbots/Superion, Protectobots/Defensor, and Technobots/Computron. Decepticons had (get ready for this) Constructicons/Devastator, Stunticons/Menasor, Combaticons/Bruticus, Predacons/Predaking, Terrorcons/Abominus, and Seacons/Piranacon. An idea as cool as Voltron, and twice as ugly when you actually put them together. I never had a complete set.

- Variety! Who remembers Jumpstarters? They shouldn't even be Transformers, they should be called Flip'n'Folders. Targetmasters, Headmasters, Powermasters? You can have an extra helper guy, but just can't have a gun at the same time, or a head. And Pretenders? Put your Transformer in a stupid humanoid plastic case, and let's Pretend we're playing with a Ken doll in a spacesuit!

- The Movie! I've watched it many times, and consider it a nostalgic classic despite its shortcomings. It will never cease to shock me how quickly and gruesomely some of the Autobots die at the start (Ratchet getting shot up like Robocop, Prowl's eyes glowing and smoke coming out the mouth, and Optimus--OPTIMUS IS DEAD?! WHAT THE HELL?!!). I would've liked to see a climactic battle between Optimus and Megatron near the end, that would finally settle things. Instead, they fight at the start and Optimus's eyes fade out and he turns all black and dies! I don't know what happens during the next five minutes because it's all blurry. Then freakin' Hot Rod, Kup, and the Dinobots get the spotlight. Preposterous.

This section will end here because I wrote it weeks ago and don't know what else to say.

Kill Bill
Brendan and I went to see the movie on the first Friday night it was out, for some reason thinking it might not be too busy. Big mistake, leading to wide angle seats. On top of that, there were a lot of subtitles, which I normally don’t mind, but this time I had some guy’s big head blocking a third of them right in the middle. Damn annoying. Since this problem came up over and over, the frustration made it hard for me to enjoy the movie.

So I’m just saying I’m aware my review is affected by my bad mood. Kill Bill had somewhat chuckle-worthy humor, somewhat impressive action, and a somewhat interesting plot. I do like how Tarantino reveals parts of the story a little at a time, and that he doesn’t take himself too seriously. Overall, I think Quentin’s stuff is okay but I’m not a fan. I watched Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs at least twice each, thinking I might like it more with multiple viewings... neither one made the cut. If I do the same with Kill Bill, I don’t expect the trend to change.

This is also one of those situations where something can be kinda funny, but a bunch of people laugh like it’s the most hilarious thing in the world, so you think to yourself, “Idiots, it’s not that funny... you know what, now it’s not funny at all.” Same goes for cool action sequences. When surrounded by people who are easily impressed, the critical types often become more critical, to distance themselves from the idiotic masses. So a packed theater full of people howling at a Samurai Shodown-style bloodspray used several dozen times isn’t gonna send me home raving.

Steve, funny you should mention that people hate on Matrix Reloaded even though it’s half a movie... since the same applies to Kill Bill. “Thanks, Jon! Nice of you to always chime in with your fun-spoiling nerd shiet.” Word.

Hahah “sucky lion Voltron”... yeah show the camera all your lion head hands and feet again! Raar! Raar! Raar! Raar!

Racism
...will go away on the same day the battle between the sexes ends. And that day ain't soon... in fact it’ll never come. We like to emphasize differences more than similarities, and we like to think we know things. If there were no stereotypes, we wouldn’t know anything about anybody unless we talked to them directly or heard or read about them. But thanks to stereotypes, I know all of Team Pooky has small penises. Misery loves company, thanks pals.