Ladies and Gentleman...please take your seats and get ready for the show.

*Open curtain, Brendan tap dances out on the stage*

Okay let us get some things out of the way...

* I had fun over Thanksgiving even though we didn't do anything spectacular...but then again I'm not a bar hopping type of person...hope you guys had fun though.
* Mental Abstraction...60-70 percent done...not like u guys care...but I write it down so it seems like I'm making progress...ugh.
* I should be captain. Andrew Ryan Cates...get it through your head. Oh yeah...Bryant wants to be promoted to Treasurer. $$$

Story in quort styles form...my new stupid word. (quick+short=quort styles).

Brendan buys Metroid Prime. He has a six page report due the next day. He gives his mom Metroid Prime. Can't have it back till he finishes report. 1.5 hours pass. Brendan done, Metroid Prime is his. Fast forward to today. Brendan gets his report back. Scans paper. He sees, "a deep and complex analysis of the illustration"...circle on the bottom..."A". Brendan gets another paper later in class. This one is harder to read because Brendan is still laughing and crying about what happened 15 minutes earlier. This paper reads, "You will not have to take the final because you have shown you understand the course and done excellent homework." Brendan confused. What homework? Oh you mean the stuff he did on the car ride to class? Right. Brendan still laughing and is giddy like a little schoolgirl. Note to readers, especially girls: DO NOT attempt to argue with me. I am the king of Bullshit. I will tear your fucking ass apart. Thank you.

*Applause for seven minutes...*

Encore: Okay I see you love me. I don't have much to tell but we do have a new word for FOBS. I call them Squats now. So here is a quick lesson.

The FOB sees the dog. The FOB then ate the dog.

Now all we have to do is replace FOB with Squats. Ready children?

The Squats sees the dog. The Squats devours the dog like no other...that sick motha fucker.

*Curtain down!*
*Applause for eight minutes*

Spotlight fade to black. Please ladies and gentleman, exit to your right and watch your step...you don't want to step in the bullshit...