To Bryant: I know that my advice might not carry as much weight as the rest of our group but at least know that I understand. I'm kind of like one of those fish that give hickies to sharks...I experience things through all you guys but since I'm on the outside I tend to see things differently. When the shark eats something I'm not going "mmmm that was good"...I'm saying "holy shit that's fucked up" but since the shark is the one eating he is thinking it is okay. Hmmm...bad description...Anyways no ranting about movies or games just some thoughts flowing through the keyboard...

I still don't believe there is a right and a wrong way of doing things when it comes to relationships. In a relationship we open ourselves up and become vulnerable. What is worse is that we open up our heart which is essentially our strongest and weakest weapon. Natalie and you were at different places in your lives. Obviously when you guys thought you were okay after you talked in San Jose both of you held stuff back. Both of you went away from each other thinking different things. The feelings you guys hid came out while you were apart because it is easier to be honest with someone when there is some distance between you guys. Either way through this new found honesty I believe that you realized that it was not going to work right now. So in turn you felt as if you should be honest with her and tell her you shouldn't talk to her. After hearing things about the relationship through you I feel you made the "right" decision based on what you felt was "right". The biggest thing is that even though both of you were close you couldn't settle it face to face. Don't read into this the wrong way...its not your fault or hers...it just didn't work.

Another stupid analogy...both you and Nat get on a plane. We'll call this plane Relationship Airlines. Both you guys decide to ride together but then realize you bought tickets to different destinations. Both of you talk about compromise but in the back of your guys' head your thinking that your vacation spot is nicer. You try to control the plane towards your vacation spot and she is trying to control the plane to her spot. Suddenly the plane loses control and hits turbulence because both you guys are steering towards different directions. You try to get control of the plane but it just won't get back on track. Nat jumps in and tries to help but since both you guys are on different wavelengths and have different solutions to the common turbulence the plane won't straighten out. Suddenly the plane loses control and both you guys have to jump out. You jump out and in typical Bryant fashion you start to fall hard. Hurling down towards the Earth at some God forsaken speed you start to think all is lost. You feel empty because somewhere along the line you should have seen the turbulence coming. You start to think about what went wrong and you start questioning yourself about whether she had the right solution or you had the right solution. Either way the Earth is starting to get a little closer and you can feel your stomach coming out of your throat. What the fuck happened? What am I going to do? Why did all this happen? Here is the catch...while your hurling down you of course are panicking. Since you are all panicked and stressed you forget about this parachute on your back. This parachute is filled with the good things in your life. It consists of your family and friends and the bright future you have waiting for you. This is what will slow your descent. It will not make it go back up because that is not what the life of your parachute allows. It can only help you hit the ground gently...its just that when you were falling you totally shut out your parachute because you were panicked. So now you are falling gently but you still can't help Natalie out. You have to let her figure out how she wants to handle her jumping by herself. I can already hear you guys' going what the fuck is he talking about. Here is the summary.

It is okay to feel lost. It is okay to feel sad and panicked but you have to eventually come to terms and think about what you are going to do to cope with it. All of us on this blog will help find you if you need us. You just have to have the confidence in yourself that you made the right decision. Of course by the "right" decision I mean you felt it was the right thing to do. And that my friend is more than you could ever ask of yourself. You realized that maybe this is unhealthy for me right now and you remedied it. Now its only going to take some time for you to get back on another plane. You might think that you might never fly again after that horrible experience but then again do you wanna walk for the rest of your life? I know your saying that I've been walking and it doesn't seem to bother me...but you are mistaken...I just have an invisible McLaren F-1 with the license plate that reads SELFISH. Anyways onto the epilogue of my fun story...

After sometime has passed you are back up in the air flying. Just as you will never ever forget your fall from the plane before you will always have a place for Natalie in your heart. Suddenly you notice Natalie at the airport waiting in line to buy a ticket. It is important for you to not forget about what happened in the past. By then you know you will be a better person for all the pain you had to endure. Did she buy a ticket to the same destination as you this time? Who knows? You might see her two rows ahead of you or heading towards a different terminal...point is you can't worry about it...you just have to let it be. And while doing that be happy, optimistic and hopeful towards all bright things in the present and future...you know...in typical Bryant fashion. =)

Okay as a side note just to make sure you don't take my story the wrong way...this blog is almost done don't get all antsy on me now...don't think that it is impossible to stay on a plane...the difference is that while you might have to jump out every once in a while both you guys were aware of where you were going. In turn both of you guys will buy tickets to the same destination and eventually get there together! =)

Okay I'm done...sorry if this was so long...I hope this helps Bryant. It might seem a little strange but if you are confused give me a call...I just figured with a story it would be more fun to read. Excuse the typos...like I said...thoughts through the keyboard...For all those who thought this story was stupid...we love stupid right?

PS: I will admit this now...I watch Girls Club. It is my new show. I like the way Gretchen smiles so there! Just thought you guys could take your shots before I see you in person.